Holiday stress

I like to cook.  My Mother always cooked the big holiday dinners, and my sister and I carried on the tradition.   I finally started buying pies, but most everything else was from scratch.

But one year, I just couldn't do it, so I ordered the entire dinner from a deli and picked it up.

That was many years ago, and today it has become much more common for even your local grocery store to offer a reasonably priced holiday dinner for the family.

So don't feel like you have to do it all.  Order the dinner, use paper plates, just for the day close your eyes, realize your health is important, and throw away stuff you might normally recycle.

Enjoy any down time you can get to talk to your friends and family, and, if you are a caregiver, take this chance to ask your siblings (assuming you have some), to help out with Mom and Dad.   Many people who have not been caregivers don't notice an "elder" needs a plate of food brought to them, and maybe some help cutting up the meat.

Don't assume people won't help, most often they are just simply oblivious.

You might also need to urge your siblings to spend more time with their parents.   Too many
children have regrets they didn't spend enough time with their parents, didn't call them enough,
or even text them enough.  

Try to live your life without regrets.  That is the best Christmas present you can give to
yourself.

An Ounce of Prevention...

I read an article yesterday about our health, and it stated that Ben Franklin was correct, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".

Stay out of hospitals, if you possibly can.   The care in the majority of hospitals in the U.S. is horrible, and you have a good chance of getting an infection while you are there.

When my Mother and b/f had all the problems with Drs. and hospitals, I would continually tell my friends about the problems.  This was not so much as complaining, but I felt more like the "town crier",  ATTENTION EVERYONE, STAY OUT OF HOSPITALS,  WATCH EVERYTHING BEING DONE, CHECK ALL MEDS.

And since that time I am sad to say I have heard too many stories which reinforce this concern.

So, take care of yourself.  Know your body.  I know no one wants to talk about this, but don't get constipated!   I had a friend (and know of a couple more), who had an impacted colon and almost died from it.   Think about how much you are eating, and think about how much should be coming out.

One of the best old fashioned products to use is Milk of Magnesia.   It draws water into the colon, and is better than taking a stronger laxative.  Also, stool softeners are probably the first "line of defense".  

Eating steel cut oatmeal is very good as well, but may not act as fast.    Eating even a few spoonfuls of cooked steel cut oatmeal every day will help.  You can find them in the health food aisle, and in some stores, in the bulk section.  Of course you must cook them, and that is a bit of a pain.  I usually cook up a big batch and then put them in the refrigerator.

Wow, it's been a long time..

So, I realized I still have this blog.

So much has changed.  My boyfriend died in March of 2014.   There is so much to tell.
Many problems with "care" which of course wasn't really good, in a nursing home where he
went for rehab.

It's been a year and a half.  I asked my brother to come live with me, which has been a great blessing.
I like to cook, he likes to eat, he doesn't complain so it works out great.

I have been going to a grief group for young widows/widowers. We meet once a week and it
has really helped.  I have a lot of good friends to got out with on occasion, but of course nothing can really replace the day to day of a significant other.

And now I have lost an Aunt on my dad's side, her last sibling, and will soon lose an Aunt on my Mother's side, her last sibling, and that will be it for that generation.  So sad, but that is life.  None of us live forever, although we wish we could keep them alive.

Too Much Caregiving...time for me.

Sorry I didn't keep posting.  Things were getting too personal, and I decided to do my writing in private.

My Mother died Oct. 31, 2009.

On that same day, my boyfriend's kidneys failed and he started emergency dialysis.  They knew his
kidney's weren't doing well, but did not know why, and did not expect so quick of failure.

He started hemo dialysis, and then switched to peritoneal dialysis a few years later.

Now, 5 years after my Mother died my caregiving days are over.  It's a long story, which I may
or may not write here.

It is so difficult being a care giver.  It is so easy for all the advice "take care of yourself", but
it's generally not really possible to do.

I don't know what I would have done differently.  It's so easy to second guess what I did, what
I should have done, but no one is perfect and I did the best I could.

To all you care givers out there, bless you.

Oh great- mom is getting better

Oh Great! My mom is getting better. She fed herself today (which she stopped doing about a month ago). She ate a lot of food, talked some (which she had stopped going), and appeared a bit more "with it".

One cannot tell by reading this, but my "oh great!" was stated with cynicism.

My mom is not suppose to be getting better.
She is under hospice care. She is on her way to check out from this world.

I must be too good of a caregiver.

Note to self.

Stop taking such good care of mom.
Start taking better care of yourself.

My eye twitch returned today.

I'm going to get the paper, sit on the couch and just chill out. Well, after I put a load of clothes in the dryer, and get something going for lunch.

When will mom die?

I realize one of the problems I am having is not knowing when my mother will die.

It's not that I am now afraid she will die. Over the past 2 years I thought she was going to die about 20 times or more. The first being when she collapsed during rehab and was called "code blue".

So, in many ways I have already mourned her passing.

Now I am at the stage, which I can only tell my very closest friends, that I am afraid she won't die. Oh, I know that someday she will die, but it might not be as soon as I thought.

And that's a bit depressing. For me, and quite frankly, for her.

My eye is twitching

I have been a full time caregiver to my 85 year old mother for 2 years. She has been confined totally to her bed for over 2 months.

Last week me left eye started twitching. I am quite sure this is stress induced.

This is one reason I decided to start this blog.

I find writing to be therapeutic, so I hope this will relieve some of my stress.